Start Before You Are Ready

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I just got back from spending a few days in Boston with my tribe of transformational coaches and creatives.  I’ve only been a Rockstar on a Mission since March and a Wildflower since September but I barely recognize the quiet, questioning version of me who wondered whether investing in these coaching communities could catapult me out of my comfort zone and into my contribution zone.

I know now it was the only thing that could.

I’ve spent years lost in cyberspace, investing in online programs that promised all kinds of incredible results from the comfort of my couch. I eagerly downloaded all the modules and organized them in binders and convinced myself that doing that was the same as doing the actual work.

It wasn’t.

You have to change out of your pajamas, take a shower, and get out and meet people if you intend to save the world. Because you just can’t do it in isolation.

The evening before I invested what seemed like my life’s savings to become a Rockstar, I cataloged every single program I had invested in for the last 30 years.  As impressive as this list was in length and depth, I became painfully aware that I’d kept most of those experiences and the wisdom they afforded locked in a virtual vault somewhere inside of me.

One I had apparently lost the combination to.

I realized my success could only come from cracking the code and sharing what was inside instead of keeping this treasure tucked away.

It also meant shedding the safety of my invisibility cloak and showing up in full Queen regalia, ready to Own My Throne.

As soon as I stepped into my Rockstar role, I began to crack the code. I gave myself one year to play full out with a group of others committed to doing the same.

We would leave no stone unturned as we dived deeply into the beliefs and stories surrounding our resistance, fears, and ability to move forward.

It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been pretty. And it certainly has not been for the faint of heart. It has taken a lot of time, money, and, in my case, airplane tickets to far away places.

But eight months into it, I’ve done things with my tribes that I could have never done on my own.  I’ve led my own Tapping Into Your Wellpower retreat, I’ve led tapping circles at other retreats, I’ve led my team on a scavenger hunt at the Natick Mall, and I’ve gone to the pyramids of Teotihuacan where I learned sacred ceremonies to harness air, water, earth, and fire. I have spread my message from coast to coast and met shamans, healers, artists, mentors, coaches, and collaborators of every kind.

I share this not to boast but to tell you if you want to change the world (by first changing yourself), you can.

You just can’t do it alone.

And frankly, why would you want to?

There are so many fascinating people who have done what you want to do.  Learn from them. Take advantage of the their vantage point – even if they are only a few steps ahead of you. Study what works and what doesn’t.  Give yourself the gift of their guidance even as you chart your own course.

And by all means, start before you are ready. You’ve heard me say this before but it’s worth repeating.

There will always be a hundred things you think you need to know or do or accomplish before you start.

You don’t.

You’re stalling.

You’re scared. Believe me, I know.

The truth is you can’t know or do or accomplish many of those things that loom large until you start. You can’t fully appreciate how Facebook Live works until you do a Facebook Live broadcast. You can’t know how you will host a retreat until you host a retreat. 

What do you want to do by when?

Set a date.

Tell the world.

Then get to work.

Let the goal pull you forward instead of allowing your fears to hold you back. Let the excitement of publicly committing to your goal burn through your fears and be the catalyst for taking easily executable action steps. These steps will help you establish a steady rhythm of fear-busting moves that combat analysis paralysis.

And let me share one more little secret.  Getting there can be as thrilling as arriving. It’s all about the journey, the climb, the road to redemption.

When I announced my Tapping Into Your Wellpower Retreat I had no idea who would come, how I would coordinate all the moving parts, or what I would offer as a follow-up.  I only knew I was committed to doing whatever it took to make it the best retreat I could.

Because I had enrolled in a Retreat Blueprint program, I had an idea of what was necessary to run a successful retreat. But because I had never actually run one myself, I had to become a marketing machine, an event planner, a customer service rep, and anything else that was required. As if by magic, becoming all that activated my super-powers.

Who you become along the way determines how deeply and richly you can celebrate once you reach your destination and how confidently you continue to move forward.

When my retreat went off without a hitch, I celebrated like it was 1999. And when no one was watching, I danced around my house to my favorite celebration song. And then I headed to Mexico to embark on a scary, new, life-changing adventure.

So please, as Goethe suggests, Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

I’d love to hear about the magic you are conjuring up. Please let me know in the comments below so I can cheer you on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Learning Curve

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It’s that time of year when students of all ages are graduating on to bigger and better things. In my family alone, we have three graduations in as many weeks.

After a couple of decades of being out of school, my sister just completed her Master’s Degree in Student Leadership.  Her daughter is finishing her last week at SCAD and will be heading out to California to start her creative career with a hat maker. And my nephew just graduated from Illinois State University and is on his way to Wyoming with his girlfriend to experience a summer working at Yellowstone.

Oh, the thrill of the open road and a new chapter!

This is the promise of new beginnings. Anything is possible.

The reality is that new beginnings are available to us at any time, although we sometimes need a little pomp and circumstance before we’re officially ready to roll.

I prefer to start without the fanfare.

I tend to launch before I know what I’m getting into.

Because if I knew what would be required of me to do half the things I long to do, I’d never do them.

It’s too daunting.

The learning curve is too steep.

If I knew how ridiculous I would feel prior to feeling fabulous or smart or trendy, I would never conjure up the courage to connect or create in all the ways that really light me up.

If I knew how much time, energy, and effort would be required to learn something people half my age were born knowing, I’d be tempted to use the “I’m too old for this” excuse.

But it’s that attitude that ages us faster than anything else.

The thing is, before we can get there from here, we have to go through the I-have-no-idea-where-I-am-or-what-I’m-doing place.  No one talks about this place because once we get where we’re going and know what we’re doing, we often erase limbo land from our memory.

It’s human nature to want to forget our ineptitude or gloss over the obvious errors in our thinking or the epic failures we didn’t anticipate.

But these often make the most memorable stories and become the beginnings of our greatest adventures.

Countless success stories start with the adventure that went awry, the chance meeting that wouldn’t have happened if all had gone as planned, or the random recalculating of  an accepted hypothesis that resulted in a scientific breakthrough.

There is an urgency about getting to the Promised Land, wherever that may be. We want to start out making top dollar. We want to instantly become an internet sensation. We want everyone to know our name. We want to succeed in business without really trying.

But there is a necessary learning curve. This is that magical time when we are humbled and frustrated and overwhelmed and filled with uncertainty that’s only occasionally sprinkled with awe and amazement and enthusiasm about what’s possible.

It’s this grace period when we get to fly under the radar, make mistakes, and hone our craft before we get pummeled by public perception.

It’s when we realize how lucky we are not to have our dreams realized before they are fully formed.

I recently came across a book titled “What’s In The Way, Is The Way.”  This echoes the idea we’ve been tossing about in my coaching program that the life we’ve lived so far, with all its trials and tribulations, has provided the precise experiences we need to succeed.

Whatever impeded our journey informed our journey and placed us in the perfect position to offer the unique contributions we can today.

So, graduates, as you saddle up and ride off into the sunset, remember it’s the detours, flat tires, the missed turns and the learning curves they afford that hold the real gifts.

I have no doubt you will get to your Promised Land with the flair and finesse that only you possess. Just remember to embrace with grace the path that leads you there.

I’d love to hear what you are graduating from at this juncture in your life. Please leave your comments, insights, or advice for fellow graduates of all kinds in the comments below.

 

 

What’s the Plan?

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I ended 2016 very differently than I have most other years. Instead of going quietly into the New Year with as little fanfare as possible, I experienced a media blitz that had me working harder on my time off than I had at any other time throughout the year.

It was part of my whole alphabet plan to get from Here to the New Year in Good Cheer. It also allowed me to end 2016’s self-titled “Stretch Year” strong by catapulting me out of my comfort zone and consistently into the public arena.

Instead of building on this momentum and jockeying for position in the onslaught of self-improvement programs that January brings about, I retreated. In order to hear the still, small voice among all the shoulding and shouting, I had to get quiet.

As a college administrator, January rivals August as a “don’t mess with me” month. At least not until the students are registered, the faculty is prepped, the staff is informed, and we all get through the first few weeks of classes.

So I’ve resisted the urge to jump into every exciting new program that arrives in my Inbox as well as the temptation to launch my own signature program. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

There is a lot of buzz at the beginning of a New Year. It’s an excellent time to tap into the energy of a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean slate. As much as I wanted to ride the wave and see how far it would take me, I was starting to feel a bit frazzled.

So I asked myself, “What’s the workable plan for now?  What’s the next right step to move my life forward at a sustainable rate?” 

The answer? Plan my work and work my plan. This, of course, calls for a fabulous planner!

Last year I used Danielle LaPorte’s daily planner, which piqued my interest in planners. This year I decided to try out her weekly planner. Even though this planner works brilliantly for my creatively quirky mind, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Are there other planners out there I might also love?”

Oh yeah. Being organized is big business.

I researched and ordered a few planners that made the top  10 lists. One was the Inkwell 2017 planner. This could possibly be my new favorite planner because of all the fun extras like a habit tracker, mission board, lots of space for notes, colorful tabs, and some pockets in the back to store stuff.

The other was Nourished the daily planner for a well-fed life.  I loved the concept and it seemed like the perfect planner to help me be more deliberate and intentional with my meal planning and fitness tracking. It just arrived over the weekend, so I haven’t worked with it too much yet.

As much as I love  each of these planners and are impressed by the details that went into their design, ultimately I have to customize them so they track what I deem important. I need a place to ask the clarifying questions on a daily basis that are just as important to me as knowing where I need to be at what time.

For example, every morning it helps me to ask:

  • What is this day about? 
  • What wants to come forward?  
  • What needs to get done?
  • How do I want to feel?
  • What am I willing to do to feel that way?

Every evening it helps me to figure out:

  • Where was the magic hiding?
  • Where did I get tripped up, lose focus, fall out of integrity, or tell myself something that wasn’t true?
  • What was lost? 
  • What was found?
  • What were the HappyThankYouMorePlease moments?
  • What brilliant ideas surfaced?
  • What thoughts consistently hound me?
  • What do I need to sleep on and hope to gain clarity on for tomorrow?
  • Where did I excel?
  • Where can I improve?

The answers to these questions dictate my actions and determine what makes it on the next day’s agenda.

What about you? How much attention do you pay to your day and how does this attention or lack of attention affect your ability to achieve what you want to achieve?

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. you may want to craft your own “I Have a Dreamspeech today. Even if you don’t have any inkling as to how to achieve it or the specifics of what you truly want, just start by stating what you believe is possible. You don’t have to deliver it to anyone else. This is mainly to remind you of what matters and why.

Or, if you are avoiding resolutions or self-reflection the way year-round exercisers avoid the gym until February, that’s okay.  Just breathe in, breathe out, and go about your business. Let the dream, the purpose, or the vision find you.

One of my favorite mantras is, “What you seek is also seeking you.” Somehow the timing is always perfect. Trust wherever you are is where you need to be for now.

You’ve got a whole year ahead of you. Plan accordingly.*

I’d love for you to share your favorite planners and any tips or tricks for making 2017 your best one yet in the comments below.

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*P.S. –  There will no doubt be surprises and things you didn’t see coming in the year ahead.  Don’t forget to leave some room for the unexpected in your grand plan.  Keeps it interesting!

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Here to the New Year in Good Cheer – Plan “X-Y-Z”

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It’s not that each of these letters aren’t worthy of their own plan in the Here to the New Year in Good Cheer challenge. It’s just that I’d like to finish the whole alphabet plan this week so we can get down to business next week preparing to ring in the New Year.

Like a well-planned exit strategy from a job or a relationship or a location, a well-thought out exit strategy for the year will yield excellent results.

While you may yearn for a yacht, a yellow submarine, or a career in yodeling, you can’t get from zero to hero without a little strategic planning.

You may zig. You may zag. You may even zip around in order to convince yourself you are getting there fast.  But as Aretha once asked, Who’s zoomin’ who?” Let’s get real about what it’s going to take.

So after we have ourselves a merry little Christmas and make the yuletide gay, we’ll recap 2016. We’ll leverage what we’ve learned so we can leap into 2017 with every intention of 10Xing the results we can expect once we get clear on why we want them.

I appreciate you reading and working through the Alphabet Plan. All I want for Christmas is to hear how these tips helped you or someone you love through the holidays.

Please leave your comments below.  Or just pipe in and share how you are spending the holidays. What are your favorite traditions, foods, presents, places, or parties? I love learning from you and knowing what matters to you.

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P.S. If you’d like to trade in your fruitcake or other interesting gifts for a perfectly-sized Resolve to Evolve journal, just fill out the info below and I’ll send you one.  No need to send me the fruitcake in exchange though. 🙂

Here to the New Year in Good Cheer – Plan “W”

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Wow! We’re almost through the alphabet plan for the Here to the New Year in Good Cheer challenge.  The letter “W” can wait no longer to wield its words of wisdom.

To a wellness consultant like me who’s wired to write about such things, today’s tip is well worth the wait.

When you feel the weight of the world is on you, walk in a winter wonderland. If you live where it’s warm, then waste no time wearing all the cold weather warranted gear, just get out and wander around until you wake up, witness, and welcome the opportunities whispering to you.

Whimpering, whining, and worrying about what might go wrong wages war on the peace you’ve cultivated throughout the challenge.

Forget about willpower and tap into your wellpower – that wonderous well of power that comes from wooing your inner wonder woman or superman out of hiding and into action working wonders.

This can be the most wonderful time of the year if you want it to be. Or it can be the worst. You get to decide.

Watch what you wish for. Knowing why you want what you want – whether it’s whimsical or whateverwill widen your chances of feeling satisfied when get it.

I want to hear about your winter walks in the comments below.  Do you whistle and go wild when you get to be the first woman (man or child) to make tracks in the snow ? Do your dogs wiggle and wag their tails at warp speed and whoop it up when they hear the word “walk”? Especially when the walk is in the wet, white stuff? How much do you want to wager that they won’t let you wipe their paws when they return? Oh, well

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Here to the New Year in Good Cheer – Plan “T”

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It’s “T” time in our Here to the New Year in Good Cheer challenge.

As tempting as it may be to take you back through the Top Ten Tension Tackling Tunes to Keep You Humming through the Holidays for today’s tip, I think I’ll touch on a new thread.

It’s easy to get your tinsel in a tangle as you tick the days off before Christmas. A tirade of to-do‘s that torment your tired and troubled thoughts are not easily tamed or transformed without a little tampering with the terms of their tyrannical hold on you.

So try this.

Toss them out. Terminate those to-do’s that terrorize, torture, or tap you out. Tiptoeing around them or treading lightly only increases their tenacity and tempts you to head to the tequila tasting table before 10am.

Trust yourself to tune in to what wants to happen next, not what you assume must happen next. Try this reframing tack. If you have to do it, then choose to do it. Make it a choice, not a chore.

Also try this.

Take your time. Or as I love to say, “Move at the pace of grace.” Thrashing around to accommodate someone’s tight timetable can make you act abominably.

Transcend the moment of angst, anxiety, or irritation and trade it in for a temporary time-out that tickles your funny bone or tends to your tightening muscles. A quick body scan will tell you where you’ve tucked your tension.  And then maybe you’ll be able to talk someone into teasing those tensions away with a little tender loving care.

I’d be thrilled to have you teach me your favorite “T” tip, tool, or trade secret in the comments below. Or give me a thumbs up if you feel like you are not just surviving but actually thriving this holiday season.

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P.S. Have you ever noticed how whenever clocks are pictured the hands are almost always on the ten and two?  It makes the hands look like a smile.  Just like the arrow in the white space of the Fed Ex logo, now you’ll notice the time on pictures of clocks. Tricky!

Here to the New Year in Good Cheer – Plan “S”

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Skipping to the front line of the Here to the New Year in Good Cheer challenge is the letter “S”, stacking one stone upon another in seasonal style.

There are several “s” words and ideas that strive to serve you. I could shower you with strategies that leave you staggering with a sprawling spread of spirited suggestions, but sticking to something more subtle suits us better.

You don’t need a series of solutions to get through the day. All that scheming, scripting, scouting, and scheduling may sacrifice your sanity. Where’s the satisfaction in that?

So without further speculating I shall spill the beans and sow the seeds of what I hope will be a shared sentiment.

Slowly succumb to the sights and sounds of your sacred space. If you can’t physically be there, go there in your mind. Soften your sharp edges. Seize the opportunity to shimmy, shake, shine, shout, or seek shelter in this place sanctioned solely for the spectacular surrendering of your stress.

It may seem silly or sound self-indulgent and you may be tempted to shrug it off.  Do it anyway. It will soothe your soul, sweet pea. Splurge. Savor. Soak it up.

You deserve some serious stress relief. And I’m here to see that you shift your sights slightly sideways so you might be seduced by a shameless sashay into a silent night – or seconds if that’s all you can sequester – to sleep, shop, or shovel snow in heavenly peace.

Score some stickers or snag a sassy Resolve to Evolve mini journal  by sharing your “S” stories in the comments below.  I never sell the information on my list so your secrets and your emails are safe with me.

P.S.  Here’s a bonus book recommendation for Plan “S”.  Start With Why from Simon Sinek. If you prefer watching TED talks to books, catch his sensational talk here. (Thanks, Tom, for sending the book to me in the (saint) nick of time for Plan “S”.)

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